the weather is beautiful. 75 degrees, feels more like 80. 

light breeze in the air, first time in weeks that it’s been sunny

thought i would enjoy taking a walk

i see you looking my way, do i look down or is that too suspicious 

either way you walk towards me the look on your face so viscous and cruel

i know what’s about to happen but first i have a few things to say to you  

the country is so proud of you, as you take an oath to protect me 

i mean a little white lie never hurt nobody right, except for the people who become dead bodies. what do you have to say for yourself? 

i know what you say. boo hoo life’s not fair

be thankful for those we chose to spare

my 30 minute training didn’t mention anything about caring so why exactly should i care 

isn’t it crazy how you’ve somehow turned our blood on your hands to serve as some sort of glove protecting it, the glove with which you hold your gun

meaning no finger prints on the murder weapon no need to run

how can they prove you did it, it could’ve been anyone

sure there is video evidence and a crowd watching us die but that means nothing if the attorney chooses to deny 

oh and thank you attorney where would we be without you

oh right, alive.. you know bc you’re the one who lets the cops do what they do

get away with ending a life and prepare them for part two

praise them for a job well done, they’re so brave for wearing that blue

for carrying that gun, for pulling it out to shoot

MY HANDS ARE UP WHY DO YOU SHOOT

i was silent and compliant there was no dispute

you keep asking me if I’m armed, i’ve already told you im not, my voice feels like a scary movie playing in the background that you’ve put on mute

listen to me officer, i go to school i have dreams 

my mom is waiting at home, and it seems like i won’t make it to dinner at least let me tell her she lives right down the road, i don’t want her to hear my screams. 

can we at least do this in the alley?

mom i’m not going to make it to dinner tonight

or the night after, or the night after or the night after

i gotta admit i’ve never been this scared. goosebumps all over every piece of hair on my body is standing up. i can lay on the ground if you want me to

my ancestors didn’t prepare a place for me just so you can take it from right underneath me

man i don’t even blame you officer

sure in two seconds you’ll become a murderer

but the system is what made you the way you are

stripped you of your humanity, given too much authority, allowed to stand above the law in a society that claims democracy and equality and has the audacity to call itself the land of the fucking free

you see, i shouldn’t need to explain it to you. none of us are free in a country built to function against us. a country where somehow  we’re trying to attack you even with our hands up. a country where little black boys are told to man up just so it makes it easier on the white man who takes their life. the man who will then make up a story so unbelievable it’s straight up mockery and yet they’ll always take his word over the black kid that somehow fucked up.

the poor black kid who got caught up in… their own existence really. 

they should’ve known better huh 

how dare they flaunt their presence in this world

as if breathing as a black human isn’t a crime in and of itself

as if cops can’t get away with saying they killed you because they felt overwhelmed

they were ‘threatened’

you go to work to serve and protect, armed like a soldier, praised like a God, yet you’re threatened by .. color. a shade on a spectrum that we both sit on. yet the same color spectrum you claim you don’t see. you’re not racist you’re just doing it for your own safety. bullshit. others may praise your job but the truth is you’re nothing but a coward. obsessed with your power, killing every hour, different state, same racist coward.

my friend, don’t be mistaken. courage is not a man with a gun in his hand

it’s the mockingbird on the other side of that gun pleading for one last chance to sing

knowing there’s no more chances left

no point in singing to the white man when he’s simply tone deaf 

unable to hear the sobs of the mothers who you have now convinced are at fault. telling them they didn’t do a good enough job of taking care of us. and trying to convince them that somehow this is all just.

now what do i gotta say to my mom to make this less painful huh

you’ll be okay mom, it’ll be okay mom

i know im your only child but i’m sure this officer had a valid reason 

i was probably somewhere i shouldn’t have been in

yes it’s my own neighborhood but i guess that’s a new crime 

officer if you spare my life now, i promise i won’t do it again. i’ll stay home next time 

it’s getting dark, my mom must be hungry it’s almost supper time

you know she never eats without me

she waits until i make it home, praying that i make it home scared to be on her own… until she gets to see me

at least let me tell her to go ahead

let her know she’ll be waiting forever 

i don’t want my mom to starve to death

officer please don’t take her only child away

she won’t be able to go on

that’s another life on your hands

it’s not too late to twist the plot

scary movies can have happy endings too

officer i see you’ve cocked your gun

i know im about to die, i don’t wanna die

you didn’t even let me call my mom 

you didn’t let me say goodbye

you know this video will go viral

your racism will be known

my people will fight you and demand justice 

i will NOT be just another gravestone

and you know that! you’re well aware

but you also know your president will protect you

and according to him, this is all fair’

GOD

i close my eyes say a prayer

make peace with my death, feeling of dispair 

i seem to be gasping for air even though

you’re standing over there 

i cant breathe

i feel something against my neck

so i open my eyes to check 

NO OFFICER PLEASE DONT-