Trauma and pain are inherent to human existence; everyone will experience something harmful. This is seen on both large and small scales, ranging from personal trauma to systematic oppression of large groups of people. Generally speaking, we tend to put our trauma ahead of others, disregarding the opposing person or group’s perspective because our’s feels more significant. In conflicts, this disregard leads to a lack of communication and makes solving conflict all but impossible. 

A large-scale instance of this is the Israel-Palestine conflict. Both sides of the conflict have personal trauma as well as trauma inflicted by the opposing party. Neither of these groups effectively accepts the full extent of the other side’s pain and, instead, puts theirs forward as the more important of the two. This undermines the other’s trauma, intentional or not. 

From the Jewish perspective, the large-scale trauma surrounds the holocaust. While in Israel, our cross cultural group experienced first-hand the fear that was embedded in the Jewish community by that horrific event. To this day, many Jews live with the idea that they are surrounded by enemies and must protect themselves by any means necessary, a concept engrained across generations by their experiences in the holocaust. The severity of the crimes inflicted upon the Jewish community cannot be ignored. 

The Palestinians experienced their own significant traumatic event in 1948 when the state of Israel was established. Through the process of establishing Israel and the subsequent war, 750,000 Palestinians were made refugees and the Israeli government took control of 77% of Palestine. The Palestinians call this event the “Nakba”, which translates to the “Disaster.” 

The Nakba left Palestinians under occupation by the Israeli military and many without homes, which has led to frustration and despair across generations. As the occupation grows longer and land is continuously lost in the form of settlements, the Palestinians put forward their trauma as more significant than that of the Jews. 

Neither side acknowledges the pain that was inflicted on the other. The Jewish perspective is that they were systematically murdered, and the Palestinians can simply move to another country within the Arab world. The Palestinians counter that they did not commit the holocaust and therefore they should not be punished for it. They have lived in Palestine for centuries, thus it is their only home. 

These assertions blind both sides to the reality that they are incredibly injured as a whole, and they both require a safe place to live. This safe place to live is harder to achieve than this article makes it seem; however, recognizing the opposing side’s trauma is a first step to reconciliation. 

While our personal traumas and conflicts are most likely not this severe, that does not make this event inapplicable to our lives. When we are hurt by those around us, we become very self-oriented, ignoring the reasons behind the event and the possible reasons that the other person lashed out. This is not to say that every evil event is justified, but in many circumstances, the person is equally pained. 

This cycle of trauma must eventually be broken which can only happen if we recognize and address the trauma of others without comparing it to our own.