From what I understand, the Bible is fairly explicit when speaking about divorce. The general rule that I have encountered within the church is that it is simply not allowed, and anyone who is divorced is a sinner. This is personally difficult for me because my parents got divorced when I was eight. At the time of the divorce, I was confused and angry. I agreed with people that said there is no reason for divorce and married couples should be able to work through their problems. However, after growing up a bit, I understand fully why the healthiest option for everyone involved was for their marriage to end.

Without divulging too much personal information, my parents simply did not work as a couple anymore. My dad was not nearly as supportive of my mom as he should have been, and it was causing her a tremendous amount of emotional turmoil. Thus, after much consideration and attempts to work through their problems in counseling, my mom decided to divorce my dad.

My purpose for writing this editorial is not to address the reasons behind divorce, for there are far too many to discuss. It is to comment on the Mennonite church’s reaction to my parents getting divorced. My church ostracized my mom. Only a small group of folks was truly accepting of her as a divorced woman and offered her support. Even our pastor rejected her when she attempted to go to him for advice, refusing to offer her even a friendly ear.

This is my main issue when discussing divorce in the church: no one is even willing to listen. Yes, it is an uncomfortable subject, especially because the Bible does include verses against divorce. However, this is not a reason to be silent. It is necessary to be uncomfortable. The act of being uncomfortable is what drives humanity and social structures to change in order to fix the things causing discomfort.

So why not have the conversation? Why not be uncomfortable? Many people will disagree with each other. Most likely there will be two sides with directly opposing views, but this is not a reason to pretend that divorce does not exist. By doing so you are simply hurting your community and making anybody who has been through divorce feel excluded. Regardless of your beliefs on divorce and the morality of it, that is not the Christian way to handle anything. The Bible teaches us to love everybody, regardless of their choices. Therefore, I urge anyone reading this to stop ostracizing divorcees and begin listening to and supporting them.