My freshman year, I participated in an exercise where I had to pick ten adjectives out of 200 laid out in front of me on a table that I would use to describe myself. Earlier this week, I was asked what my strengths are. One of the first things that came to my mind, in both cases, was pragmatism. I have to admit that I pride myself on my ability to maintain a level head and at least make an effort to see all sides of an issue, whether it be small and interpersonal or on a more national scale. Now this might be a result of my significant aversion to conflict and confrontation, but whatever the reason, I find it helpful to myself to approach every issue or disagreement from a neutral, moderate perspective at least at first.
I have a bad habit of finding myself in political, theological, and social echo chambers, on varying sides of the political, theological, and social spectrums but admittedly usually more left-leaning. While I more often than not tend to agree with the views being espoused, I am often uncomfortable with the one-sided nature of discussions and have longed for a bit more nuance or an attempt at understanding other perspectives. At the end of the last school year, I hastily wrote an opinion piece for the Weather Vane entitled “An Earnest Call for Listening to One Another.” I wrote a similar piece for the Waltonian, the newspaper at Eastern University where I spent my first, unhappy year of college. In high school, frustrated with what I at the time felt was a strain of exceedingly self-serious stanzas, I anonymously submitted poems to the school’s art and poetry magazine with titles like “A Message for Partisan Poets” and “A Poem Needn’t be Profound.” While I do not see these as my best work and while I hold varying degrees of embarrassment towards each piece of writing, I do see them as authentic representations of my frustrations towards each group, so great that I had to say something.
As we continue down a path of increased polarization during an election year that I admit I find hard to see ending positively, I catch myself reverting back to my moderate, pragmatic, alter ego more and more. Optimistic Josiah™ is replaced by the no-nonsense, annoyingly rational, both-sidesing version of myself that exists more as a coping mechanism for the future than as a reflection of any of my actually held beliefs. While I do recognize the shortcomings of trying to hold to an unrealistic, egalitarian position, a big part of me does still feel the need to make sure that everyone is being listened to and understood. It’s something I want to emphasize both as a Co-Editor this semester and as a friend, student, and citizen.
So I apologize if I play the devil’s advocate, speak in generalizations, or disengage with any of you too often. I am not anti-progress or pro status quo. I am however going to continue to try to pierce the echo chamber whenever I feel pushed to do so. If it doesn’t make the world a better place then at least something within me will be tempered and more comfortable. I think it does more good than harm to freely express whatever you feel, whether the majority likes it or not, no matter how irritating it is to say or hear. I’ll close with a section of a poem I wrote over four years ago, a small section that I remain proud of, even as I continue to cringe at my past earnestness of anti-earnestness. I don’t want to write another similarly repetitive piece like this again but I still find it important to reiterate.
Take a step back, see the good in the world. Don’t keep your hand on the hilt of a sword.
