Expectations. It’s a word everyone– from students to parents, to workers, to any member of the human race and society– knows all too well. Expectations create the basis for action within our social, cultural, political, and ethical structures. They’re an omnipresent force that pervades both micro and macro perspectives of society, as well as public and private areas of life. Expectations establish supposed norms through which we are expected to conform because those norms levy the grounds for success and set standards for being a “productive,” “successful,” and “good” human being.
Expectations are both universal and variable to different areas of our lives, be it school, work, personal state-of-mind, or participation within our own unique hierarchies and localized human structures. The fundamental issue with expectations, though, is that they are secular, forcibly omniscient, and unconducive to a culture or race that is flexible, empathetic, or emboldened in personal expression or lived experience.
Expectations are a state-of-mind, human-created sanctions that are perpetuated by a fear of ostracization or repercussion for not meeting expectations or for breaking the norm of whatever sectors we are a part of. Expectations don’t acknowledge us as humans, rather they see us as cogs needing to fit into a perceived notion of what society should look like based on the predominant authoritative figure, social structure, cultural values, or source of privilege and power within our lives and larger social sphere.
Expectations envision life and the path to self-discovery, empowerment, and actualization as a linear journey, with no margin for error or alternatives, and no room for substantial development outside of what is expected. They also neglect the importance of genuine relationships and self-exploration in favor of regimented interactions and activities according to our “assigned” position, class, or status.
I’m not suggesting that expectations are completely bad or unnecessary. They are certainly effective in establishing consistent human behavior and ethics that transcend boundaries and limitations in communication, but our persistent reliance on them to understand all of human experience is harmful, unconscious of and unresponsive to the nature and beauty of humanity. Society often substitutes empathy with expectations, and that is a dangerous presumption about the needs and capabilities of society and of people.
As college students, all of us are apt at deflecting and absorbing millions of expectations, both small and large, that are frequently related to our identities as students and as future members of whatever we are studying. These expectations are informed by both a cultural understanding of higher education and its demands– essentially who we are expected to be as college students– as well as micro-influencers from peers, parents, and professors– or what people suggest we should be and do in order to thrive.
The implications of this process are great in that these expectations leave no substantive room for self-acknowledgment and happiness as it relates to identity and personal achievement, which means we are also left with few outlets or sources from which to legitimately figure out and engage with who we are in our hearts and minds. Instead, we’re strapped with exceeding expectations that often manifest in debilitating disappointment as we try to be everything at once for everyone else and fail to be the people we are actually meant to be.
Ironically, expectations determine that I can’t call expectations bullshit in this published article. In a way, expectations are also abject misinformation, albeit much less discernible because of our conditioning and fear of deferring them. But, in order to be truthful to ourselves and compassionate to others, we must learn to do exactly that.
Ultimately, expectations and social conditioning have been preeminent factors in a vast world history of discrimination, exclusion, physical and emotional abuse, the social construction of self, and the formation of an easily abusable and stigmatized public. Once we actively acknowledge these systems and our duty to each other and ourselves to liberate mankind from them, we can also redefine the fundamentals of being human and discover our true and inherent potential and worth.
