When you think about giving a first impression to someone, let’s say at a job interview, what comes to your mind? Is it a smile on your face? The style of clothes you wear? The length of your hair? The color of your skin? The pronouns that you use? Usually it’s all of these, and quite honestly, that makes me a little sick. The fact that someone can instantly form an opinion on you as a person just by seeing you once seems wrong. I try not to do this, but I am definitely guilty of it; we all are. When we go to engage in social interaction with a new person, or even someone who’s known us for a while, they will instantly make an impression about us in their minds.

I do not like this one bit. I get that it’s relatively unavoidable, but I think what we really should be doing is trying to stop making split-second decisions based on a first impression of someone. Take online or speed dating for instance. Most people base their opinions purely on looks, and don’t bother to get to know the person in front of them. They look at the picture, and if you aren’t in the top 10-20 percent of attractiveness, they swipe left and go on to the next. Most of the time people don’t even bother to read the profile that goes with it. Making a split second decision that you aren’t attractive enough for them without reading what makes you passionate or about your hobbies is such a shame. 

I remember seeing this one speed dating show on YouTube recently called “The Button.” The premise was fairly simple: you sit down on a date with another person and if you don’t like them, you can hit the button and swap your date for another person. They did an episode where people were blindfolded for half the date and then they took it off. Here, people were much more willing to get to know each other and talk about each other’s interests, but once the blindfolds came off, hands were flying for that button if the one side didn’t find the other attractive. I noticed that the button presses were mostly from the women as well, which I found interesting. After a contestant rejects someone, they are asked why they rejected them, and a lot of the time, it was something along the lines of, “I didn’t like their vibes,” which very much feels like a cop-out answer to me. I’m not a huge fan of the word “vibes” in general, it feels very superficial. Anytime someone wants to get out of a situation in which they are with someone who is a little less attractive, all they have to do is say  they don’t like the other person’s vibes and they can get out of there scot-free. 

Why are we as a society so superficial these days? Does it have to do with the mass number of filters and access to technology that allows us to look however we want on the internet? It all feels very fake, like everyone’s standards are so high that they make the worst impressions about anyone they meet right off the bat. And it goes so much further than just appearance and attractiveness as well. Try not to let first impressions sway your attitude towards others, it just makes things worse for everyone.