I love labels. I love being able to identify myself with specific terms, and I love finding new labels with which I can identify. In a way, I think this stems from my love of language; labels provide me with a way to articulate things about myself—things that have always been a part of me, but things that I maybe didn’t always know how to communicate as a part of me to other people.
However, I often hesitate to share my preferred labels with other people, because I so frequently hear others bashing the use of labels with comments like: “People are just using labels to be trendy,” “It’s so annoying that they let these labels define who they are,” and “Labels are so restricting; who wants to put themselves into a box like that?”
First of all, labels are not “just a trend.” Sure, people can be influenced by their friends into exploring new things, but that doesn’t make that exploration or those labels any less authentic. Also, labels do not have to be permanent. Some are, certainly, but sometimes a label can suit a person at a certain point, then fall out of use in a different chapter of their life.
Secondly, the way that people define themselves can—and should—change over time. Consider how you thought about yourself when you were seven as opposed to how you think about yourself now. Generally, people change a lot over time, especially through adolescence and young adulthood. Some parts of us are the same, but others are drastically different. Labels are just ways to identify those parts of us; some of them change, and others don’t—but they are all part of how we define ourselves at the point in time that we identify with them.
Third, labels are defined by us as much as we are by them. We are only “boxed in” by them if we allow ourselves to be. That is apparent in the way that the meanings of certain labels have changed over time. For example, the label “bisexual” used to be known as “attraction to both genders.” More recently, along with growing recognition that more than two genders exist, bisexuals have recognized that they may also experience attraction to people who do not fit within the gender binary. As a bisexual myself, my favorite definition of the term is “attraction to two or more genders,” though I usually like to tack on “including non-gendered people” to recognize agender folks, too.
To be clear, it is totally fine to not like labels. I have known people who get overwhelmed by trying to find the labels that perfectly suit them, so they instead choose to go with broader labels or not refer to themselves with labels at all. My point is: please don’t put down others for liking labels. Personally, I find comfort in being able to see that enough other people have gone through similar experiences to mine that we have a term for it; it makes me feel less alone as I go through life. The issue with using labels only comes when people feel pressured to choose labels against their will—which often also results in people choosing labels that do not actually fit them.
Ultimately, the use of labels is a personal choice. If you are like me and love labels, remember that not everyone finds the same sense of comfort and community in them that we do. It is important to respect other people’s boundaries. If you do not like labels, please try to understand and respect why some of us prefer to use them—and may prefer for you to use them in reference to us, too.