My entire life, I have struggled with social anxiety. Was I talking too much? Was I talking too little? My most difficult struggle was meeting new people. Social anxiety stifled my first year at EMU, and continued to affect me into the first half of my sophomore year. During my first year, I had little to no engagement with the other people in my hall, and I often disagreed with my roommate. I never spoke during class, ate by myself, had an injury, and didn’t feel at home on the track team I ran for, and would go home every Friday, and stay there until Monday morning. My roommate went on to eventually transfer, effectively nulling my social life on campus.
Looking back now, I was depressed. I had no friends, not nearly enough social interactions, did poorly in my classes, disliked my majors, and genuinely was unhappy with my time at EMU. I got through my first year by the skin of my teeth. Before entering my sophomore year, I decided to consult my advisor, Jerry Holsopple. Entering this meeting, I was preparing to transfer out of EMU after the fall semester. While I was having these important conversations, I was housed in a pod with people I was only slightly familiar with, solely because I filled out my housing form late. With this housing plan, I had my own room, and again I was struggling with social interactions.
October 2022, everything I knew began to shift under my feet. While taking Photo II with Jerry, I began to engage more in class discussions. I even stretched as far as to reach out and communicate with fellow students, Cassidy Walker and Thomas Erickson. I was not only intrigued by the stories Jerry told in class, but I felt him purposefully engaging with me as well. Before I knew it, I began to form a close bond with the three. During this time, I started to push myself to go outside of my room to the common area in our housing arrangement, drawn to the Mario Kart competitions by Doran Kennedy, Aidan Weaver, Adam Hoover, and others. I began to sit in a lounge chair after my classes, watching them play, and eventually began making conversation. Doran and Adam had an ongoing competition to see who could record the fastest time on a given course; I enjoyed watching the two of them at different points of rage, stress, and eventually celebrate.
One night, I sat out with a large group of them, and talked more about my personal life; subsequent nights we stayed up until 3 a.m. talking about even more personal details. I soon started to make conversation with them all when I saw them, including everyone within the housing arrangement. I played Smash Bros with Canyon Penner, Mario Kart with Aidan, Doran, and Adam, Gamecube games with Thomas and Aidan. I talked politics with Caleb Stoltzfus, sports with Levi Myers, random topics with Nate Lehman, and began to regularly hang out with all the people in the pod, and eventually expanded my friend group with their friends and acquaintances.
Within this social shift, I felt like I had finally found “my people.” I began to stay on campus more, and felt genuinely happy spending time there: I felt like I was finally at a home away from home. I spent hours upon hours in Jerry’s office, talking to him about life, politics, photography, and history. I became more interested in world topics and photography. I now view Jerry as a third grandfather, as I feel he has changed my life for the better, as have my friends: all of the friends I made in this time feel like brothers and sisters, a feeling that has helped me cope with the loss of my sister seven years ago. I felt more involved with the Weather Vane, having fun conversations with staffers Erika Lopez, Esch, Kennedy, Beidler, and Stoltzfus. The result of all these changes? I decided that I wanted to stay at EMU and finish my degree here.
I now live in a Parkwoods apartment with Thomas, Adam, and Caleb. The entire group I lived with in the Cedarwood pod all live in there, too, recreating the community I enjoyed so much. Even with a new year starting, my friend group from last year is still going strong. We still see each other and hang out regularly. We still play Mario Kart, and my win-to-loss ratio is steadily (but slowly) increasing. I trade life stories, and political opinions, and camera advice with Jerry–well, he gives me advice.
What do I want my fellow students to take away from my story? Reaching out is worth it. The effort, the insecurity you confront, is worth it: I understand how difficult and challenging it can be to reach out. I didn’t even realize I was doing it at first, but am now so thankful that I did. My life would be completely different without all my friends that I now consider family. I would recommend to any student, at their own pace, to branch out, meet new people, and try new things, at your own comfort level. Cheesy, but true: it changed my life, and it can change yours, too.