This article is the thing I have been excited to do since October 2019. I really wanted to see the drastic change that would occur in my life by April 2020. I tend to love every change in my life, because I know for sure that change will bring me closer to who I truly am. And what is even more exciting for me is that I am going to read this article in April 2021, and probably, by that time, I will have found the answer to all of my concerns.
It’s amazing how words can show us how much we have grown over the years. If there are two words that summarize the past six months, they are: darkness and Bella.
For as long as I remember, I was terrified of sleeping in a completely dark room, and if I did, I would start feeling as if the room was getting smaller. The walls would keep getting closer and closer until they crushed my bones. One day, all of a sudden, I was driving on the highway at night, and I looked at the sky and felt as if its darkness hugged me. It felt so familiar and safe. I wasn’t scared of the forests or the highway; everything felt like home. That night, I did not want to leave the sky’s darkness, but wished that I could just run and blend in with that darkness and stay forever in that peace.
What I felt scared me, because I thought that was the first step towards being a psychopath. My counselor told me that we are the ones that make darkness scary, and there is nothing to be afraid of. Now every night before I go to bed, I turn off the lights. I believe that everything surrounding me is nothing but a reflection of me.
This statement made so much sense when I got my dog Bella. I know I might sound like a person whose camera roll is full of dog pictures and has nothing to talk about but their dog. This is true; I am that person. The only thing that makes me sad about Bella is that I have to put her on a leash whenever we go places. I understand the safety aspect, but I do not want Bella to be treated as less than me. There is a risk of keeping humans unleashed too—I can totally run and bite someone that I do not like. Why is no one considering that danger?
As humans, we always forget that we are the ones that came up with the standards that we have, and they mean absolutely nothing for other creatures. Along with the realization that Bella brought me about freedom, she brought into my life unconditional love. I wake up thankful everyday because I have a best friend like Bella.
