Death is something we have probably all experienced. If we have not yet, we will. Regardless of our beliefs about death and life after death, it must be accepted that death brings changes in the physical and spiritual realms. Just because someone is no longer present in the physical form, because we can no longer touch, speak with, and be present with the dead in the way we have become accustomed to in the physical world, it does not steal the healing or the wounds that have been given to us in the physical realm by those who have died.
We are also taught from a young age that we should respect the people in our lives even if we do not agree with their beliefs and their actions. We are taught how we should respond to conflict in our relationships with those who are physically present. We must understand that respect in the physical life is a preservative of relationships in the physical life, just as respect for the dead is a preservative of the new relationship, which is reflective of the old, that is given as a connection between the physical and non-physical. If we do not keep our respect after someone has died, we will lose the fragments of the relationship we had.
By respecting someone, regardless of our relationship with them, we are respecting their families, close friends, colleagues and those who have been positively impacted by them. We observe their character and our interactions with other people through our own ethics. This being said, we cannot assume that those we do not respect based on our observations and interactions — seen according to our ethics — with their character have had no impact on those around them, unless all people have the same ethic. We must understand that respect, unlike trust, is not subjective based on our observations and interactions with a person. Having no respect for a person is analogous to diminishing their right and purpose in life, an action which my beliefs have led me to understand as a sin. It is not my place to assign worth to a person’s life when, also according to my beliefs, I myself am not capable of my own salvation from death. How then can I, a person of the same worth as the person I am attempting to assign worth to, rightfully carry out this action?
Assigning worth is not the same action as understanding worth that has been assigned by the Being, which is God, who is worthy to do so. We understand and observe the worth of someone based on our beliefs and ethics, which we cannot impose and attack others with but only present and defend for ourselves by the standard we believe is absolute. Therefore, based on my beliefs and ethics, there is no morality in the action of showing no respect for those who have died just as there is no morality in the action of showing no respect for those who still live.
As we directly or indirectly experience inevitable death in the physical realm, we must continue to remember that death does not take with it the memories and emotions we hold onto for a person who possibly saw the person differently than we do. We must also remember that respect does not constitute trust nor does it constitute that ethical need for an intimate relationship with a person. By definition, respect is seen in our emotional and physical relationships, but it is rooted in the worth that we do not have the right to assign. Respecting the dead, even if we did not agree with their beliefs and actions in life, does not mean that respecting the dead forces us to agree with their beliefs and actions after they have died. Having respect for the dead is honoring the way in which others understood the worth of the person, even if we saw them differently, as well as honoring the worth of life itself, a reflection that can be heeded at any age and in any circumstance.
