Hi. I graduated from EMU once! Crazy, I know. And, should God beam his ever-lasting mercy upon me, I may just do it twice, which is more than twice as many as the average EMU-er. Given that I’ve dedicated so much of my life to the whole scholastic rigamarole, I figure I could offer those soon-to-be-free grads a little advice. Because the first thing a new grad wants is some nerd condescending to them about stuff, right? Hah!

Ah, well. What the hey. Here’s what I wish I knew when I was wearing that ol’ cap n’ gown.

1. SHOES! SHOES! SHOES! WEAR COMFY ONES! Ladies, theydies, particularly dexterous dudes, the heels are just going to make you anxious. You’re walking up that spooky accessibility ramp in front of EVERYONE, and if your ankles should decide to finally give up on you, you’re going to splatter yourself all over the highest echelons of educational excellence. Think of all the cuties you’ve bagged (or fumbled) sitting in the audience, watching your clumsy self eat it during the biggest moment of your early twenties. Yuck! Just throw on some working man’s Adidas, or something. You won’t even see ‘em beneath the gown, anyway. Or maybe I’m just particularly clumsy… and projective.
2. Have some post-grad GOALS in mind. It’s easy to grab that diploma and have the entirety of the last 4 years crash over you in a wave of nostalgia. That’s a recipe for one thing: burnout, and eventual disappointment. BUT!!! I don’t mean that you have to start hustlin’ and grindin’ thinking about your career. There will be plenty of time for that, god knows.
3. Try to find some hobbies to keep life fresh. Work out some, if you can. Given the current state of the economy, maybe this is just wishful thinking… but, life’s a lot richer when you have some activity you can do just for you. Just for fun. Maybe go see a little league baseball game. Go drive as far as you can and just see what happens. Have a bonfire with some buddies.
4. REVEL! Bask! Sun yourself in the flames of your own hard work! You worked hard to walk up that stage. ‘Course, if you’re like me, you probably could’ve worked a *little* harder. But, hey, hopefully you made some friends, and have some funny stories to show for it all, eh? If you can, go flex your muscles in the mirror. Go jump up and down. You deserve a little pat on the back.
5. Let those tears flow! All the friends, memories, hard work, let ‘em all drip outta your lacrimal glands. Don’t let my prior advice fool you, graduating is as bitter as it is sweet. You’ll miss your dingy shower, your uncomfortable couch, your totally-undergrad movie posters. You’ll blink, and suddenly it’s all in a box somewhere years from now. While I don’t think you should literally go around hugging your living space, maybe extend a sort of… spiritual hug towards it. “Farewell, college!” you’ll think.
6. KEEP LEARNING!!! Your brain is a muscle (or was that your heart…?) Look, you gotta keep using it, even when the whole 8 am snoozefest we call college goes away! It doesn’t even have to be about anything in particular. Learn about trains, cheese, wind turbines, global economics, philosophy, music, dance, native plants, mountain formations, religion, sailboats, the universe, ANYTHING you can get your hands on. There’s too many… shall we say, “misinformed” individuals who clog up my Twitter feed and local board of education meetings. You don’t want to be one of them. You can avoid that fate (hopefully…) by being a life-long learner, and not let the mundanities of life mute the curious, adventurous spirit I know you’ve got.

That’s all I wish I had thought more about. It’s not much, but hey, you’ve thought about enough already. Well, you know me, always quoting old songs and stuff. Well, for all you summas and cum laudes and Cs-get-degree-ers, I’ll leave you with one of my favorites. 

“So long, it’s been good to know ya.”

-Woody Guthrie, “Dusty Old Dust.”