The eldest child has it the worst out of all of the other kids. If you ask any first born child they will tell you that the pressure can be intense. If you are the first born child, you are the example, the third parent, the protector, the teacher, the leader; you have to be everything that your parents want for all of their children. You have to be the most patient with your siblings. You have to have the best grades in school. In the position of the eldest child you  have to have goals, and most importantly you have to reach them, and if you don’t, you lie. The eldest tends to be the most mature, sometimes even more than kids their age. They have to grow up faster than their siblings because they are the example that the younger siblings will follow. 

If you are the eldest you are the third protector behind your parents. If something bad happens to your siblings you will always feel responsible because you failed at your job. If your younger sibling is hurting it is your job to take care of them. Your wants are put behind those of your younger siblings by your parents. You are the oldest, you are expected to understand why your younger siblings’ needs are more important, or why yours can wait. Most importantly, as your role as the oldest child, you are the leader for your siblings. As the leader everything you do is watched and scrutinized, you are not allowed to make mistakes. 

Since you are the first, you are given more responsibilities before your siblings. You are the free babysitter once you are old enough, and most of the time before you are ready. You are the driver for your younger siblings once you have your license. You’re the first to juggle both a job and school. There is a constant expectation that the oldest has to excel, has to reach every milestone at a certain time, and has to teach the others what they learned to do by themselves. If the younger siblings reach a milestone before them, such as having a significant other or getting their driver’s license before the oldest, the oldest is immediately considered behind and/or a loser in the families’ eyes. The oldest is not allowed to go at a slow pace in life, everything has a time and a place. 

The duties of the eldest child never stop throughout their lifetime. They were born first and have to go through everything first. When the parents die the eldest has to stay strong and take care of the other siblings no matter how much they are hurting themselves. It is a never ending cycle of perfection, expectations, and firsts that go round and round.