Dear Wit and Wise,
I have been struggling with budgeting my money. I had $2,000 set aside for the semester and it was all spent on Common Grounds and the Den. How do I survive the rest of the semester with only a two dollar bill?
Sincerely, The Caffeine and Grease Addict
Dear Caffeine and Grease Crazed Friend,
Thank you for reaching out with your financial troubles. It seems that your love of coffee and snacks has put quite the strain on your budget. It must be difficult to only have a $2 bill to get you through the semester.
First, it is important to acknowledge that the situation you are in is serious and immediate action should be taken. Surviving the rest of the semester with such limited funds will require careful planning, resourcefulness, changing your spending habits, and most likely a job. Here are some steps to help you manage your money for the rest of your time on campus this semester:
- Evaluate your expenses: Taking a closer look into your spending habits will be essential to this process. This is where you will need to identify areas where you can cut your spending back. While going to Common Grounds and the Den may be tempting, it is due time to prioritize essentials like groceries and other necessary expenses.
- Find free or low-cost alternatives: Take advantage of EMU’s free resources like our free food room (thank SFI), your meal plan, club and CAC events with free food, etc. You can also use student discounts at stores that offer one to make your essentials cheaper. You may also consider making your own drink to get you through the day rather than relying on Common Grounds.
- Look for work or side gigs: If you effectively schedule your time, consider finding a job or freelance gigs to supplement your income. EMU even offers on-campus job positions that would greatly supplement your spending habits and necessities throughout the semester. Even a few extra hours of work a week can provide some much-needed financial relief.
- Budget: With limited funds, it is necessary to spend each cent with care. Create a plan for how you are going to stretch your remaining resources, focusing on essentials first and avoiding any impulsive purchases.
- Seek financial advice: Consider reaching out to Financial Aid or counseling resources to help you have a support system and develop a plan for your cash moving forward.
While it may be difficult to break your caffeine and grease habits, this situation presents an opportunity to build better budgeting skills for the future. Learning to manage your money more effectively now will set you up for long-term financial success.
Wishing you the best as you navigate the semester with a stronger grip on your finances.
Sincerely,
Wise.
Dear friend,
What? Seriously. What? What are you even buying, two weeks into the semester, that runs your bank account to just a two dollar bill? Did they close your account, but give you a two dollar bill out of pity? You’re cooked, buddy. It’s over… is what I would say if I wasn’t the best wittiest advice giver this side of the Mississippi.
You have essentially given Common Grounds and the Den a small loan, they should hire you on the spot for this. Once you’re in, you’re going to take minor items and upsell them on the black market. After you get some money flowing in, you can buy your drinks and food, then steal the money back that you spent. It MUST be cash if you don’t want to be caught.
You’ll accumulate constant money and have free food for as long as you work there. Just cover your tracks as much as you can. You must hide all the money in a secure spot in the Parkwoods woods; it’ll never be found there, it is safe, trust me. Eventually, you’ll have the money you had to start the semester tenfold, then you’ll obviously pay me the 10 thousand dollar advice fee, whenever you can afford to do so. You can also send Wise some money too.
Best,
The EMU scam extraordinaire