EMU is many things: an anabaptist haven of learning. A purveyor of worldliness. And, most of all, a place with many buildings.
Some are small. Some are large. Some are filled with students. Some are filled with other things. Given these parameters, which campus building is the BEST? Which hallowed hall fills our hearts with the most scholarly honor? Who’s vaulted roof will capture the dreams of students for years to come? Which vaguely-cuboid structure on campus has, frankly, the best vibes.
This will be an extensive and deeply scientific analysis. Each building (not including dorms) will be rated along two dimensions. First, their sauciness, which is a measure of how easy it is to catch a vibe while hanging out there. Second, their practicality, which refers to how conducive they are to all the boring college stuff you pay money to do, like study and sleep in class. We’ll start with the sore losers, and make our way up to the SAUCE BOSSES.
Ready? Let’s go.
9. Lehman Auditorium.
Sauce: -20
Practicality: -20
Drafty, dull, ugh. Lots of beautiful moments happen in Lehman, don’t get me wrong. I’ve heard many angelic choruses in the main concert hall, and the large glass windows make for a lovely vista. But, gosh, when you step beyond there, it’s just creaky stairs and poorly ventilated practice rooms. I feel there is a pervasive, inescapable moth-ball quality to the atmosphere in lower Lehman. And, of course, if you aren’t some sort of musical major, where exactly are you supposed to study? Among the crashing cymbals and trombones? No thanks.
8. Northlawn.
Sauce: 0
Practicality: 10 (it has food)
Have you ever actually walked around Northlawn? And I don’t mean the caf. It’s DARK! Those dorm halls make me feel like I’m in some horror movie. The fire alarm goes off seemingly randomly, the air conditioner blows hot air (because of the fire alarm), and the pipes could explode at any moment. There’s also an odd skunk smell… odd.
7. Esther K. Augsburger Art Center
Sauce: 0
Practicality: 20
Meh.
6. Campus Center
Sauce: 10
Practicality: 20 (has mailboxes)
EMU’s strongest stronghold. It *feels* royal, like a bumbling hub for all the students on campus, with mailboxes, vending machines, and plenty of well-lit seating. This is the first entry on our list that could be argued to be “decent.” Nurses and Education majors call it home–and so does our president! Not too shabby, not too great.
5. Roselawn
Sauce: 30
Practicality: 10
Out of the way, but very tall! Roselawn 3rd boasts one of the best views on campus, and houses some of our greatest majors: the social sciences! The best part of hosting such socially-minded folk is the eye for coziness and plant life that they carry with them. Roselawn feels *nice,* welcoming, and a bit zany.
4. University Commons
Sauce: 30
Practicality: 20
EVERYTHING you could ever want is here. Art, music, theater, sports, coffee. University Commons has it all, and plenty of sneaky little spots to go study and chill. While the ambiance may be somewhat lacking, there’s a certain charm to the oft-grafitti’d Common Grounds whiteboard, and the constant low hum of hard working students.
3. The Seminary
Sauce: 50
Practicality: 20
Everything you love about Lehman, but doubled. Stained glass, holy scriptures, the whole nine yards. Of course, I’m a bit biased, as this is the building I call home these days, but it really does have immaculate vibes. Taking some time to yourself in a prayer room is an elite EMU experience, I’d recommend it to everyone.
2. The Library
Sauce: 30
Practicality: 40
Not as saucy as the other high level contenders, but INSANELY useful. Despite popular belief, books are really important, and the library has LOTS of them. It also houses all sorts of other resources, such as computer databases and board games.
And finally…. At long last, the BEST BUILDING ON CAMPUS! Drum roll, please!
1. THE SCIENCE CENTER
SAUCE: 100
Practicality: 50
It’s a blowout, folks. The science center is far and away the coolest place on campus. Need to do cool science stuff? Tons of it here. Want to watch anime on the biggest screen available? That’s here, too! Gosh, it’s crazy JUST how good the science center is. Cool aquariums, nitrogen tanks, and even a pond! And don’t get me started on all the cool animal mountings.